Suzy Greaves’ Column: Give Up Giving Up in 2011
It’s not very often you hear a life coach say this but what would it be like if you just gave up ‘trying’ to change the things that you have tried to change forever?
Motivation, pushing ourselves can often work in the short term but long-term we can fall back into our old habits and into that pit of self-loathing. Let’s try a new strategy.
It’s that old adage, if you keep on doing what you’ve always done, you’ll keep on getting what you’ve always got. So what if I gave you permission to give up all the dieting/deprivation and denial and try something new instead?
Often our bad habits are in place for a reason – they have an unconscious pay-off – our half of bottle of wine a night may soothe our anxiety, our over-eating gives us comfort, our smoking gives us a ‘smoke-screen’ to hide behind. Unless we tackle the core of the issue versus the symptom, we’ll just keep on repeating on the same old binge-denial cycle.
So let’s put your focus and energy on the word ‘nourishment’ this New Year. Ask yourself how can you nourish yourself in 2011? From ditching the rice cakes and eating only things that taste great (but don’t make you feel guilty) to creating your own home-spa, make a commitment to ONLY doing things that delight you. Banish all shoulds, oughts or musts. Apply delicious lotions and potions, play soothing music, eat cake in the bath, indulge. Ask yourself – if I could improve my well-being by nourishing my mind, body and soul – how would I do that?
Once you’ve started on your nourishing your internal life, next start looking your external life – look at your environment. Our environments play a huge part in whether we can sustain healthy habits, says Martha Beck, a regular on Oprah and author of The Four Day Win (Piatkus, £10.99).
Beck cites a study on addiction that found rats which were kept in cages soon became addicted to morphine laced water but those who were kept in a ‘rat park’ – where they were allowed to roam free actively avoided morphine. Researchers concluded that the more freedom we feel we have, the less we turn to external sources to soothe our anxiety.
Beck suggests you list the three people, places, activities, situations that make you feel ‘trapped. And ask yourself – what do they all have in common? Then make a list of all the people, places three people, places, activities, situations that make you feel calm. Then ask – what do they all have in common? In 4 day chunks, eliminate or transform the elements from list one and start to increase contact with all the things and people on list two. This enables you to ‘remove much of the frustration that made painkilling of bad habits necessary,’ says Beck.
These strategies are all about making you feel good. When you feel good, you don’t have to prop yourself up with caffeine, alcohol, cake and cigarettes. This January, make only one resolution – create a ‘feel-good’ regime that is about nurturing yourself from the inside out. And I guarantee you’ll have a very happy 2010.
Five ways to feel good instantly in 2011
William Bloom, one of Britain’s top holistic teachers and author of The Endorphin Effect (Piatkus, £14.99) reveals there are five scientifically proven ways to release the ‘feel-good’ hormone endorphins into the body – no matter what is going on in your life:
1. Think about someone you like or do something you like. (Make a list of things you genuinely enjoy and do more of them – this will naturally trigger a flood of endorphins)
2. Make napping your greatest skill. Or at least allow your body to slump and into napping body language. A 3-4 minute slump will release that flood of feel-good hormones.
3. 20 minutes of movement – it doesn’t have to be aerobic but any sustained movement for 20 minutes or more will release that feel-good feeling
4. Go for a walk in the woods and connect with nature. This is proven to release endorphins into the body.
5. Monitor how your body feels and give it a break – treat it as you would a hurt animal or child and gently relax, and think loving, kind thoughts about your poor, old body. Apparently, every time we do this, endorphins flood to the rescue.
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